Lesson One: Where do I go?
In class we explored the central question of the whole course: how can I be with you, and not forget about myself at the same time? We looked at the signals that tell us — usually afterwards — that we had lost the thread back to ourselves in connection with someone. We introduced the 70/30 image: seventy percent with the other person, thirty percent with yourself. And we had a first taste of the body as anchor — feet on the floor, back of the chair, breath — as the thread that keeps you here even when the conversation pulls you somewhere else.
For the week ahead, two small experiments:
The first is simply to notice — once — a moment when you realise afterwards that you had forgotten yourself in connection with someone. You don’t need to change anything. Just notice it and bring it back next week.
The second is to practice 54321 somewhere busy. In a supermarket, on a bus, on a crowded street. The 54321 is a grounding practice: you name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can feel in your body, two you can smell, one thing this moment is giving you. The point is not to do it perfectly — it is to notice whether it feels different from doing it alone in your room. What pulls you away? Can you find your feet even when other people are close?
https://us06web.zoom.us/rec/share/QSeZlAh0j7OAKFW0VZPULLKLe-hwLsuRg0qW7lIKKG50SC8qmq3vaq0FaFsRN06y.yk1VVo_cKg2dE-ym
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Lesson Two – Walking Together
In this lesson we explored the 54321 technique and how that can bring a shared experience of presence in connection. Part one was before the walk, then 20 minutes walk practice together with someone, and part 2 is the discussion after the walk. It was beautiful to see so many people return with genuine smiles and a sense of fullness from these walks!
Part one: https://us06web.zoom.us/rec/share/XUNG9GFMIVb0nCU5a8-aX_kusHHckQ9oNkanplHkyUpIgqv0ndCGyilnK1Qunc_l.4EIN1KiFKJ7RCiSX
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Part Two: https://us06web.zoom.us/rec/share/wr8BG4ZtmzB-nm7GYNNPFDCMSCruLGjKTzbDdtuAXOSIU1huhxqh8i7LDXvYLOgS.juR1LixkbEoYQxwz
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Lesson Three – Speaking while Staying
https://us06web.zoom.us/rec/share/U031S0AXPCp4FKxwusgxfhkVJ_Mn_i97R_ZNcuUJ-4oShchx9K9I2Jg7D7ecdBl4.mOyS222pDoHVzysm
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We worked through four exercises. In the Grounded Storyteller, we practiced telling a simple story while keeping one thread of attention back to the body — feet, breath, the back of the chair. In the Two Channels practice, we ran the content of what we were saying alongside the felt sense in the body while saying it. In Speed Variations, we spoke at different paces and noticed where the body starts to disappear. And in the Pause, we practiced that small moment of checking in before responding — and discovered how much can change in one breath.
What came up in the room was quietly significant: that staying present with yourself is staying present with the other person. That time pressure changes the quality of how we are with each other. And that the body has been involved in speaking and listening all along — many of us just hadn’t noticed it yet.
For the week ahead, two small experiments. Once, practice the pause before you respond in a real conversation — just one breath, one moment of checking in, before you speak. And once, notice the moment a conversation speeds up and you feel yourself leaving. You don’t need to slow it down. Just notice where you go and what disappears first.
Be curious rather than disciplined about both.
Lesson 4: Listening While Staying
https://us06web.zoom.us/rec/share/vL35oGq5jm6ryx1I4U1_qfOTQLnm54ydFbCz2vRVnJqKkVr99Of5ygR8gaziyjrz.9B68BVaVpZS-urkB
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In this lesson we experimented with three different ways of listening: the habit, the sponge, and the sky. The idea was to learn to listen like the sky, not like a sponge.
I found the lesson genuinely interesting and loved your comments. There is an increasing realisation in the group that being present with oneself IS being present with the other — and it makes me so happy to watch people arrive at this through a practical, felt experience rather than just being told.
Your homework for the week: notice a moment when you listened like a sponge, and try once to listen like the sky in a real conversation. No need to be disciplined about it — just curious.
